I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
