I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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