If i come over, it means nothing
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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