Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
