We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
