last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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