omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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