So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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