Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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