I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
