about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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