I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
