we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
