12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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