That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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