This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
