I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
