The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
