Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sober January is a disaster.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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