Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
