Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
