and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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