I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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