You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
