You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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