Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
