i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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