just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Randomize
