So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
