the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
