my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
