there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
