Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
