I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
