If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
