Whod you bang
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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