im drinking this country out of the recession.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
