so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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