I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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