hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
