I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
