I must be too annoying 4 u.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
