i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
