you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
