thus making me awesome and them whores
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
