He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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