Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
