the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
sarcasm needs its own font
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize