and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
