oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
