I am puke
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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