So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
