yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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