I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
