I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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