You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I have aggressive nipples.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
