Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
