I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
