I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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