Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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