a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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