I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
