She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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