she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
