If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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