You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
