I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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