So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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