I think i peed on brittanys purse
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
