u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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