Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
