Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
