We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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